Fingertips burn as I plan on reaching out. I shiver beside you as my body is ablaze. I basically have a heart attack whenever I look at your face. My memory does you no justice and I know it, but you catch me off guard without fail every time. I couldn’t even describe what you look like, or what you were wearing when I saw you two days ago, or the sound of your voice. I just know that I like it all.
There are so many things that I plan to say, plan to do, plan to tell you. But your name looks so good on my phone screen, and your smile so good as you approach me I forget.
You are distracting, to say the least.
Many people are surprised to hear that I forget that I am tall. Granted, being 6’2” as a twenty-year-old woman is unusual, though living against the grain of the omnipresent gender height binary is often something that can genuinely fail to cross my mind for days on end. I try to overlook the fact that […]
It is morning and you are reading the paper, in your boxers, metal t-shirt and dressing gown. Your long curls ruffled around your face, falling down over your shoulders. The cafetiere of coffee steams away gently by your side, caught in the spring-morning sunshine. I lean down and cup your face, pulling your little frown out of your paper to kiss between your eyebrows. My heart bursts at your smile, you turn back to your paper and I reach for the coffee. It is morning, I don’t know when, but I am settled. This home is ours. I am content and ready for anything, with you.
I do not think like this.
I cannot think like this.
It is night, I am here and you are not and I am in love.
I’ve tried countless times
to lose my mind
but it always finds it’s way back to me
I’ll drink it out of consciousness
I’ll sniff it
‘til it’s twisted out of recognition
I’ll hide behind lies
in the company of others
but never in the arms of lovers
here it is at it’s worst
here is where it most hurts
fit to burst
thoughts shriek past
never letting the silence
and that’s the hardest part
no matter how hard I’ve fought
I’ll only ever chase
that perfect place
of silence between
She said she doesn’t
get my brain and it hurts her
I said ‘join the club’
What you give to the universe, the universe will return.
Faith I once had, now dropped
Fuck positive vibes, it’s a state of mind
A fucking lie
Good people will continue to die, with cunts like Cameron still alive.
No matter how hard I try, I will hurt everyone I try to avoid and blame it all on my inner void
Or the drink in my hand
My weakness that alleviates all cheapness in my actions
I cannot feel love
Only fear it
I can hear it
Don’t tell me you love me, I can’t be it.
I can’t be me – I can’t be we
I will drag myself down until my penance is up
I cannot be trusted not to fuck it
I’m not a martyr, there’s no cause for which I’d die
It’s just the universe is a cunt
And so am I
In the picturesque, peaceful
rested setting of NW London
Spaced out and wasted outside the station
in a situation so blatant
Pissing in between two cars
I couldn’t help but give this poem a start
as I pondered this love of ours and how we’ve come this far
from fresh-faced in Miss Parker’s maths class and school shows to mad cunts and festivals: dsh dsh doing large
All with permanent stomach cramps from 7 years of fucking laughs
This summer came, running away from the same pain
from the same mistakes
we find each other in the same places with new catchphrases
mad cunts in the corner of the pub
Unfazed I cut short that date to come home and see your face
You are my safe space
Traces of you in everything I am and everything I do
It’s all too much we’ve been through and honestly I can’t say better than this
I’m so fucking glad you exist.