A poem 

I will wait until I’m drunk enough to hold your gaze like I long to hold your hand

and

next drink I’ll be ready to kiss those lips I’ve been trying not to stare at all day

when leaving tomorrow or with 7 minutes until my fucking train

I have no idea what I’m trying to say

More than graduation day

You all hair and eyes and the cutest little teeth, slurring blacked out conversations at 3am on the street how the fuck did it take us this long to meet please don’t look at me

Hiding behind Heineken and a three-year wait for an Irish coffee

I had you cynical as fuck but kissing like a softie

hands over face and bravado wasted you see right through my fingers interlaced and every version of me I put so carefully in place

Riding the crest of this wave clenched fists in fierce resistance of this

whiskey pissed and lips thick with unuttered diction and targets that never should’ve been hit

This bit

I hate this bit

This goodbye bit

This decision bit

This bit by internal derision twisted lifted only by swift kisses of your perfect lips and visions of fingertips pressed into hips and tessellated limbs

You were a whim

A whim that within a day wriggled under my skin and became the only hymn I’ve ever lived and I tried to make it right yet

It’s wrecked

Wiping slates just leaves smudges and you’ll be a smudge I can only attempt to write over

Arms length pushed don’t see me sink lower

I was always going to fuck this up

Trust

I’m too good at it

I will try forever to forget your fingers on my neck your breath

As once again I watch myself get lost

If I knew the last time I kissed you was it

I never would’ve stopped

 

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2 thoughts on “A poem 

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