A Poem for The One at so many Firsts [as finished as possible]

Year seven maths
next to each other, trapped
wielding a compass
to
year eleven English
listening to mp3’s
through wires in sleeves
your mum and
fighting in the music rooms
for fun

next thing
it was getting messy
ending in travesty
as blood gushed out my cavity
and vomit defied gravity
I couldn’t keep up
and
you couldn’t carry me

then raves paved the way
to
Boris bikes
and apocalyptic nights
following lines
‘til the end of time
and convinced we were actually gonna die
that time I gripped the bar sideways
I was not going to Uni
that Friday
you bopped your shoulders and
threw a smile my way
then we danced it all okay

so much noise
it was quiet
communicate in mute
subdued silence
too lost to attempt to impress
beneath torrential sweat
sat engrossed
in the pattern of your dress

I’d forgotten the comfort of arms
until curled up in sweat-drenched garms
in the corner of a room
gone too far
and all we could do was laugh

by common standard of friends
we tend to converse to no ends
but it’s never awkward or tense
we express
in pleasant reticence

I’ve been at my most vulnerable
and most mentally troubled
with you
stripped of all normality
as the real-me
I scrutinised in states of mind
impossible to vocalise
I look you in the eyes
and try my best to verbalise
there just ain’t the words
but it’s all love about to burst
for you the one at so many firsts.

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