A Poem about The Past

[I’ve been super busy recently so I thought I’d do a quick upload so you don’t forget about me. Also, I’m currently on a megabus so no video! Follow me @poemsbyrose !]

With the 6×4’s spread across my floor

I got to thinking of who I used to be

looking for answers regarding

the future me

 

Hazy daze takes me back

I miss lazy days making daisy chains

or

the crazy ways in which we’d

play

one game for days

and get waylaid

in worlds that

we made

 

I miss when hopes were dreams

when we lost time in rolling fields of green

now we roll our green on fields

because it got too real

dying to be free

 

when tripping meant a graze

not damage to the brain

and stress was homework

and doing up the top button on your

polo-shirt

 

Speeding down empty roads

glittered beads rattling in spokes

feeling the air flow

through functioning lungs

of young ones

stretching day one

through endless months of sun.

 

then I found an old backpack

read a diary and got backtracked

saw

a kind of me as I lost track

and it all came rushing back

 

my history recorded

the years of awkward torture

self-hatred, confusion and loneliness

the years meant to be the happiest

now things have settled down

I know more of myself now

 

mistakes to be made

and times to complain

there’ll be many more

but

at least I’m not a damn teen anymore

 

I’ve grown up past it

I got my friends I can laugh with

I guess it’s all about perspective

and with innocence wrecked it

can only lead to learning

less concerned with

hate that keeps churning

so now I need a job to keep earning

and in the future keep working

to take myself further

 

so I guess now it sucks,

there’s bills and stuff

real-life ish we thought would

never apply to us

at least I can say

I don’t give a fuck

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