Belated Letter of Apology

I’d like to start by saying I’m sorry.

I often think of those times you used to hold me,

In the night, when I’d wake up in tears.

You never asked for a reason,

I never had one.

I got lost in loneliness and couldn’t find my way out;

You were my misguided guiding light.

Sex was never what it was about.

I said stupid things,

We both did,

Made promises we knew we couldn’t keep.

But at the time, I had to believe;

You tried to teach me to love myself, make that leap

But only hate grew between us.

We swore we’d fix each other but tore ourselves from the inside out,

Into a thousand pieces.

I left town.

You were my family

And now I never see you.

We used to share a home

But it’s like that never happened.

Don’t think I’m hiding from you;

I’m desperate to see you more,

But I can’t help but want to save you.

Save you from yourself, from your past,

From what you think you are.

I don’t say it but I worry about you

And [him]

Every day; I can’t stop it.

It’s killing me.

I’d like to end by saying I’m sorry.

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